Here I go again
by Joan Powers
Summary: Why does Dean keep making deals with douche bags? Season 7 Episode 17 "The Born-Again Identity"


Here I go again

By Joan Powers

 **A/N:** My daughter started binge watching "Supernatural" on Netflix this summer and I got caught up in the fun. I wanted to see if I could capture Dean's voice.

 **Rating:** PG-13/K+ (for language)

 **Timeline:** Season 7 Episode 17 "The Born-Again Identity"

 **Summary:** Why does Dean keep making deals with douche bags?

Sonava bitch.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I must be a complete moron. Why do I keep making deals with these douche bags?

You'd think I'd learn after all I've been through.

Something always goes wrong.

None of them are trustworthy. Even when they seem to be on our side, things turn to crap. Take Ruby. She fought beside us, even saving Sam's life. I didn't trust that bitch but Sam bought into it. Then when I…wasn't around, she worked him over and turned him into a monster and used him to break the last seal of Hell. Still makes me wanna slam my fist into a wall.

They all have agendas. Like Crowley supposedly helping us, giving us the Colt to kill Lucifer. Which didn't even work. He just wanted to take Lucifer's place as the King of Hell. That was his angle. Angels aren't guaranteed to be good guys either. Even god saved me from Hell, only to send his angels to demand that I serve as a vessel for the arch angel Michael to fight Lucifer.

When did all this start?

The first time Sam was killed?

Who am I kiddin' - that's just when the stakes got higher.

I wasn't thinking straight when I bargained with a cross roads demon for Sam's life in exchange for my soul. I wasn't thinking at all. Hell, I'd lost my dad. I couldn't lose anyone else. I just couldn't. Damn the price.

I'm a simple guy. I don't need much. I've lived in dive motels most of my life. Give me a decent burger and beer. And pie - can't forget pie. And I'm happy. As long as my Impala is safe, it's all good. And I will raise hell if there's so much as a scratch on my baby when I pick her up after this leviathan nightmare is over.

The only thing I'm asking for is my brother. My family. My blood.

Is that too much?

Sam loves to remind me of that lame ass story about a scorpion and fox crossing the river. The scorpion begs the fox to carry him across, promising it will behave. Yet once they get to the other side, the damn thing stings the fox anyway. "Whad'ya expect – I'm a scorpion."

They're never going to change.

So why do I keep doing this?

The only reason I deal with these douche bags is because I've got no choice. There's no other way. It's impossible to get this type of info on our own. And no one else has the power or ability to do things - like obtaining the rings of the horseman of the apocalypse or returning a soul from hell.

I could ask god. Sure. Fat chance there. He's helped us in the past but it's always on his terms. Not even the angels can find him now. He's either not listening or out of the house.

Hunters have a lot of tricks, but most of this stuff is way out of our league.

So what choice do I have?

After bringing Sammy back from Hell then restoring his soul, should I sit on my ass and watch him lose his mind?

Hell no.

I've lost too many people. Mom, Dad, Ellen and Jo, Bobby. I tried walking away from this - living a normal life with Lisa and Ben. Look how great that turned out. I almost got her killed and it only brought misery to them. It wasn't fair to them. I couldn't do it.

I'm done with that.

I'm a hunter. It's who I am. I've accepted that.

I only want to have my brother by my side.

Meg, the conniving bitch sitting beside me, could turn on me at any minute. Or kill Cas for vengeance. And Cas, in the back seat? As Emanuel, he doesn't even know who or what he is. He might be able to tap his powers to cure Sam. Or he might not. And if his memory is triggered, which I'm sure Meg would dearly love to do, what version of Cass will remain? The helpful angel who pulled Sam outta hell or the sonava bitch who yanked out the protective wall inside my brother's brain and caused this mess?

Which one's gonna go pyscho first?

And I'm on a road trip with them.

This is nuts.

But there's no more time. It's the only card I can play. It's Sam's only chance.

Here I go again…

 **THE END**


End file.
